Wow, I've been away for a while and I've gotten over 160 views in the meantime! My muse has been hiding from me and I haven't thought of anything special to say. Now I have something!
Time. People with ADHD often experience time differently than neurologically normal people. Sometimes we start to do something. Like on last Saturday, I started to sew a skirt! I started at three by cutting the cloth. I start sewing with my machine and next thing I know, it's 7pm and I'm starving. Where did all the time go? This is called hyperfocusing. Time ceases to exist. There is nothing but what we're focusing. Even our bodies own signals aren't enough to "wake us up." I was starving when I was finishing. I didn't notice anything until I was done. Hyperfocusing is one classic sign of ADHD. It's one of the few times, when we don't suffer from lack of attention. Or which I prefer to call, attention to the whole world. The world and everything in it doesn't exist to us.
I've also noticed that time runs differently depending if I'm on ADHD meds or nor. Before them, time ran quickly. One hour was like one minute. Time would disappear into the chaos of my mind. I might be late for anything because I lost track of time. It would be everyday for me. Time just disappeared. I guess when the brain is full of everything, rambling thoughts, sounds, images, it's hard to keep track of time.
Now, that I'm on stimulants, time has slowed down. I get more things done. Sometimes when I'm cleaning and I've done the living room, part of the kitchen and bathroom, I come to take a short rest, I notice, I've only cleaned for one hour. I have more time. It's like I'm in a time machine. This comes with a down side as well. There is too much time. If I'm upset or tired, waiting two hours until I can go to sleep, feels like forever. And then people tell me it gets better. I hate that saying. When does it get better? How many eternities do I have to wait? One day is like a week for me, so waiting few years? Yeah, that's not good.. Even waiting to the next day is really long time. Getting bored can be really easy being like this. However it has a good side too. It's very easy living in the moment. The moment is generally good. Right now, spring is starting, snow is melting, it's getting warmer and I get to wear skirts soon! Hopefully the one I just made. People are more open and happy with the sun coming out. I get to notice all these things!
Tuesday, 22 March 2016
Friday, 16 October 2015
Dealing with Emotional people
First I'm going to apologise for my quality of writing. I've got pretty bad cold and I'm very off right now.
Then to the point:
This is something that a lot of people don't get, is how to deal with someone, who is drowning in an emotion. There are few very important ground rules:
1. Never every blame the person in any way about the situation. Part of it might be their fault, or all of it, but pointing it out will make the person who feels like they are drowing already, feel A LOT worse. They know they did wrong. They are beating themself up for it already, you don't need to do it for them. Do not even hint in this direction!
2. They have a right to their feelings. So respect them! They are allowed to feel them. Especially someone who is drowning, they have all the rights in the world to feel them. When the emotional feedback lessens, then you can suggest what to do next time or offer help or advice. But the person needs to be calm to accept them. If the person isn't, it will feel like the other "helper" isn't listening to them or is trying to tell that "I don't have the right to feel". Person drowning in emotion isn't too rational.
3. This is the most important thing in the whole depacle: LISTEN! You do not need to say anything, but listen. You can affirm the other person with "that sounds horrible" or whatever fits. It will make the emotional person feel like they are being believed and listened. These feelings are really important. Also saying stuff about your own life, it is taking a big risk. Sometimes it can help, but sometimes it can make the emotional person feel like the other person is trying to take over the conversation with their own problems. Like I said, not thinking rationally.
This is actually called active listening. Most important is to listen what the other person says, and taking it all in. Not just keywords, but the whole message. Someone who is very emotional, won't be able to think straight and will feel like being attacked, if the other isn't listening. It's one of the worst feelings, especially if it's someone close to you. It will feel like an attack. It will feel like the other is saying that you don't have the right to be upset or sad, etc. There is a moment for feelings, and moment to fix the problems, but it's not at the same time. The person needs to be calm to be able to think clearly and start fixing things. That person needs to have all their strenght, because fixing life is one of the most energy consuming things you can do.
Why am I writing this? Well two things, one is that this is what I do automatically, when someone is upset. It's propably part of the reason why people often come to me when highly emotional. Two: because of ADHD, my emotional control isn't same as someone with normal brain function. We have somewhat hightened emotional responses. Now I'm talking bit generally, but some with personal experience. One reason for our hightened emotional responses is that the part of the brain that control emotions (and controls everything like impulses, etc) is working at lower rate. So, emotions in ADHD are a bit wild. Our emotional state can change really rapidly and go from one extreme to the other in seconds. Two, a lot of us have been told that we're not good enough from early age, because we have problems focusing. People with normal brain function don't understand what it's like for us. Focusing is hard for us when the whole world and all the small parts of it are calling our name at any given second. Not all of us are diagnosed at early age. I was diagnosed pretty late. I felt like I wasn't good enough because I can't sit still for longer than an hour. Or I had trouble understanding physics because it has so many different parts that affect one another. Everyone else can, so I should too. I suffered from really low esteem when I was in school. I'm smart, but I'm horrible in school. Then I started to realise, that my brain doesn't take information the same way as other's do. I started to realise, it's not a bad thing. I just have to do things differently! Then I got diagnosis. But this is why people should be very careful about blaming us and accusing that we're not workng hard enough. I've had three burn outs in high school, because I was trying to keep up with others. We have to use more energy in focusing than neurologically normal people, so we give more. Then saying that it's not enough is a slap to the face. Very hard slap that will sting really long time.
Also someone with emotional control issues, one emotion can bring about dozen more. I'm like this. I make a small screw up, I sometimes don't get upset because of the small screw up, but over everything that is going on at the same time and possible the last six months. Depending on the situation and people around me. Life isn't merely a roller coaster with ups and downs, but when there are ups, there can be many thing wrong. Life is never simple!
I think that is enough message for one day.
Then to the point:
This is something that a lot of people don't get, is how to deal with someone, who is drowning in an emotion. There are few very important ground rules:
1. Never every blame the person in any way about the situation. Part of it might be their fault, or all of it, but pointing it out will make the person who feels like they are drowing already, feel A LOT worse. They know they did wrong. They are beating themself up for it already, you don't need to do it for them. Do not even hint in this direction!
2. They have a right to their feelings. So respect them! They are allowed to feel them. Especially someone who is drowning, they have all the rights in the world to feel them. When the emotional feedback lessens, then you can suggest what to do next time or offer help or advice. But the person needs to be calm to accept them. If the person isn't, it will feel like the other "helper" isn't listening to them or is trying to tell that "I don't have the right to feel". Person drowning in emotion isn't too rational.
3. This is the most important thing in the whole depacle: LISTEN! You do not need to say anything, but listen. You can affirm the other person with "that sounds horrible" or whatever fits. It will make the emotional person feel like they are being believed and listened. These feelings are really important. Also saying stuff about your own life, it is taking a big risk. Sometimes it can help, but sometimes it can make the emotional person feel like the other person is trying to take over the conversation with their own problems. Like I said, not thinking rationally.
This is actually called active listening. Most important is to listen what the other person says, and taking it all in. Not just keywords, but the whole message. Someone who is very emotional, won't be able to think straight and will feel like being attacked, if the other isn't listening. It's one of the worst feelings, especially if it's someone close to you. It will feel like an attack. It will feel like the other is saying that you don't have the right to be upset or sad, etc. There is a moment for feelings, and moment to fix the problems, but it's not at the same time. The person needs to be calm to be able to think clearly and start fixing things. That person needs to have all their strenght, because fixing life is one of the most energy consuming things you can do.
Why am I writing this? Well two things, one is that this is what I do automatically, when someone is upset. It's propably part of the reason why people often come to me when highly emotional. Two: because of ADHD, my emotional control isn't same as someone with normal brain function. We have somewhat hightened emotional responses. Now I'm talking bit generally, but some with personal experience. One reason for our hightened emotional responses is that the part of the brain that control emotions (and controls everything like impulses, etc) is working at lower rate. So, emotions in ADHD are a bit wild. Our emotional state can change really rapidly and go from one extreme to the other in seconds. Two, a lot of us have been told that we're not good enough from early age, because we have problems focusing. People with normal brain function don't understand what it's like for us. Focusing is hard for us when the whole world and all the small parts of it are calling our name at any given second. Not all of us are diagnosed at early age. I was diagnosed pretty late. I felt like I wasn't good enough because I can't sit still for longer than an hour. Or I had trouble understanding physics because it has so many different parts that affect one another. Everyone else can, so I should too. I suffered from really low esteem when I was in school. I'm smart, but I'm horrible in school. Then I started to realise, that my brain doesn't take information the same way as other's do. I started to realise, it's not a bad thing. I just have to do things differently! Then I got diagnosis. But this is why people should be very careful about blaming us and accusing that we're not workng hard enough. I've had three burn outs in high school, because I was trying to keep up with others. We have to use more energy in focusing than neurologically normal people, so we give more. Then saying that it's not enough is a slap to the face. Very hard slap that will sting really long time.
Also someone with emotional control issues, one emotion can bring about dozen more. I'm like this. I make a small screw up, I sometimes don't get upset because of the small screw up, but over everything that is going on at the same time and possible the last six months. Depending on the situation and people around me. Life isn't merely a roller coaster with ups and downs, but when there are ups, there can be many thing wrong. Life is never simple!
I think that is enough message for one day.
Tuesday, 25 August 2015
Breaking expectations
I love breaking people's expectations about me. I know I can look a certain way. If I'm working, I look quite professional. I work in a relaxed place, so I look bit too secretary at times. On my free time, I tend to look bit like a vampire queen. One of my exes actually didn't know I dressed that way normally, and got bit of a surprise. When we dated, I wore pretty normal clothes because of weather and he saw me in my natural look after we had broken up. That was fun!
People often assume I'm goth. I'm not. I think vampire is more accurate. I wear often black clothes. I like the colour and I tend to prefer bit unusual cuts as well. I do wear purple as well. Some people expect me to be all angsty and moody because I wear unusual black clothes, and then they get happy, easily excited and hyperactive me! Also black looks good on me!
And I also tend to favour very feminine style. If at all possible, I will wear a skirt! And tops to fit womanly curves. I look pretty feminine. Today I managed to shock people by telling I can fix a bike tire. Seriously. I can even change car tire if I have all the equipment. It's not like it's that hard! And then I turn on my music. I don't really know how this surprises people, because of the goth look, but I listen to heavy music. Right now Disturbed is my choice, especially in the mornings, and other times I listen to bands like Sonata Arctica. Especially at work, people get really shocked when it's my turn to choose music...
And it's fun when people realise I'm a big nerd! I definetly don't look like one. I play board games, watch scifi movies and tv-shows, larp, rpg. Only thing I don't know much is comics and that's from lack of opportunity.
People often assume I'm goth. I'm not. I think vampire is more accurate. I wear often black clothes. I like the colour and I tend to prefer bit unusual cuts as well. I do wear purple as well. Some people expect me to be all angsty and moody because I wear unusual black clothes, and then they get happy, easily excited and hyperactive me! Also black looks good on me!
And I also tend to favour very feminine style. If at all possible, I will wear a skirt! And tops to fit womanly curves. I look pretty feminine. Today I managed to shock people by telling I can fix a bike tire. Seriously. I can even change car tire if I have all the equipment. It's not like it's that hard! And then I turn on my music. I don't really know how this surprises people, because of the goth look, but I listen to heavy music. Right now Disturbed is my choice, especially in the mornings, and other times I listen to bands like Sonata Arctica. Especially at work, people get really shocked when it's my turn to choose music...
And it's fun when people realise I'm a big nerd! I definetly don't look like one. I play board games, watch scifi movies and tv-shows, larp, rpg. Only thing I don't know much is comics and that's from lack of opportunity.
Wednesday, 20 May 2015
Facebook and ADHD
I'm sure a lot of my friends have notices, I tend to post often, usually several times a day. I think this is part ADHD and part my psychology. I'll take the last bit first. For a long time, I felt like I have no voice, that no one listens to me. I've always felt a bit invisible, at home or in school. I've been ignored for so many years. So now that I have facebook, I want to be heard. Always when I post, one part of me hopes people will read it and at the same time notice me. I always feel so fantastic, when people like or comment. It means they noticed what I have to say. I really am a somebody.
The ADHD part is pretty simple. Part of having ADHD is poorer control on our emotions. If we have 10 different emotions a day, it's pretty boring day. So that also causes us to easily respond with emotions. And Facebook posts often have some form of emotional influence. I often post something when I'm happy, hyperactive or excited.
I've been in lots of ADHD support groups and I can say, that those are VERY active. I can't keep up with the posts. Even in a group where there are only handful of people, it's pretty common to get five posts per day and the talking in them is very active. And one post can easily have couple hundred comments. They usually start at the topic, go round the world couple of times and sometimes ends in the original topic. Our slogan "ADHD, highway to, hey look a squirrel!" is very accurate! We get distracted on a drop of a hat!
I'm doing bit of a squirrel thing now. I also want to change my facebook picture pretty often. I tend to curb that impulse, but I do update it every couple of months, or if I get a cool new pic.
Another add. I always try to read the whole newsfeed. It's important to me to know what and how my friends are doing, but I also want them to know, I read them. There was someone who took the time to read your post and noticed it.
The ADHD part is pretty simple. Part of having ADHD is poorer control on our emotions. If we have 10 different emotions a day, it's pretty boring day. So that also causes us to easily respond with emotions. And Facebook posts often have some form of emotional influence. I often post something when I'm happy, hyperactive or excited.
I've been in lots of ADHD support groups and I can say, that those are VERY active. I can't keep up with the posts. Even in a group where there are only handful of people, it's pretty common to get five posts per day and the talking in them is very active. And one post can easily have couple hundred comments. They usually start at the topic, go round the world couple of times and sometimes ends in the original topic. Our slogan "ADHD, highway to, hey look a squirrel!" is very accurate! We get distracted on a drop of a hat!
I'm doing bit of a squirrel thing now. I also want to change my facebook picture pretty often. I tend to curb that impulse, but I do update it every couple of months, or if I get a cool new pic.
Another add. I always try to read the whole newsfeed. It's important to me to know what and how my friends are doing, but I also want them to know, I read them. There was someone who took the time to read your post and noticed it.
Monday, 20 April 2015
Perception vs Reality
I've gotten some comments in the past month. Three of those stuck to my head: I'm strong, calm and I've got stable and healthy mind. I've got to say that I don't own any of those things! But it's how people see me. People see me as strong, because I have to keep going no matter what. They don't see me crying in bed for hours because I just don't want to face the day. It hasn't happened often to me, maybe twice in the past two years. But I do have days like that. People just see me keeping my head high and pushing forward. They don't know that I don't have the option of being weak. I haven't had people to ask for help in my life. I've had to learn how to survive through shit on my own. I've started learning on how to lean on other people now, on how to ask for help. It's still not easy.
I've lived through too much. I haven't had easy childhood. Teenage was pure hell. On top of normal stuff, I was physically very sick and I had ADHD. I guess my tolerance for shit has gotten pretty high after all of that. I've had to survive all of it. Not just learn how to cope with it all, but survive and thrive. I've got a lot of scars. I have lots of problems still, I've got four phobias and several fears, including fear of abandonment. I'm terrified of being forgotten and replaced. It keeps happening in my life over and over again. I'm an awesome person. I'm warm, open hearted and minded, I care fully about others, I don't judge anyone, I'm really good friend, I'm one of the most loyal people in the world, I always look for the good and I'm pretty and intelligent. But I'm not loud and beautiful. I'm not remarkable at anything. I'm average. It's very easy to overlook me.
Few days ago my coworkers told they were surprised to learn I've got ADHD. They said I was too calm for that. They have some experience in ADHD. I think all of my coworkers have basic training on learning disabilities. People who know me a bit see how I'm really not. I tend to jump in my place when I've got to wait for something and should be still. I run around for no reason sometimes. I like walking instead when I could just call. Once at my work place, I ran the stairs up and down three times just because. My coworker was a bit taken aback by that.
Here is a song that's been stuck in my head for a while. It's beautiful, the lyrics, the melody and music video. I just wanted to share, if anyone is reading this. Snow Patrol - In the End
I've lived through too much. I haven't had easy childhood. Teenage was pure hell. On top of normal stuff, I was physically very sick and I had ADHD. I guess my tolerance for shit has gotten pretty high after all of that. I've had to survive all of it. Not just learn how to cope with it all, but survive and thrive. I've got a lot of scars. I have lots of problems still, I've got four phobias and several fears, including fear of abandonment. I'm terrified of being forgotten and replaced. It keeps happening in my life over and over again. I'm an awesome person. I'm warm, open hearted and minded, I care fully about others, I don't judge anyone, I'm really good friend, I'm one of the most loyal people in the world, I always look for the good and I'm pretty and intelligent. But I'm not loud and beautiful. I'm not remarkable at anything. I'm average. It's very easy to overlook me.
Few days ago my coworkers told they were surprised to learn I've got ADHD. They said I was too calm for that. They have some experience in ADHD. I think all of my coworkers have basic training on learning disabilities. People who know me a bit see how I'm really not. I tend to jump in my place when I've got to wait for something and should be still. I run around for no reason sometimes. I like walking instead when I could just call. Once at my work place, I ran the stairs up and down three times just because. My coworker was a bit taken aback by that.
Here is a song that's been stuck in my head for a while. It's beautiful, the lyrics, the melody and music video. I just wanted to share, if anyone is reading this. Snow Patrol - In the End
Wednesday, 11 February 2015
Insights into Life
I've been doing a role as Joy. Her name is Ilona and she represents the childlike happiness, joy and live in the moment spirit everyone has. In the play, different types of personalities are represented as people and how they interact with each other. Joy is the most ignored and everything else tries to push her aside. There is a point to me sharing this. I was once talking with a friend of mine about the role and he noted that my acting in it was natural. It's very easy to overdo it or make it a caricature. This brings to what I've been thinking lately. I'm very upbeat and happy person. I don't get blue easily, that takes a lot of stress! I haven't always been this way. I used to get really upset over mistakes I've made and situations that went horribly for me. I don't know how or when it changed. Nowadays, if I make a mistake, I laugh about it. Like today, I had some lines go really horribly wrong, but I just went backstage and started to laugh about it. There isn't really anything else I can do. I can't change what happened, I could let it bother me, but I choose to learn my lesson and move on. It took me a long time to get here, but I'm glad I've gone through the journey. I choose to believe I'm human and with that I make mistakes. It's unavoidable, but my job is to control how they effect me. I can just do my best, work hard and learn.
I take joy out of small pleasures. I live in the moment, so it's easy to stop and smell the roses. Or in my case, smell the lilacs. I always stop to smell them. I love eating. I love cooking food that's good and surprisingly healthy. I love exercising as well, dancing to music. I fill my days with these. I admit that being happy person, it's easy to find stuff to be happy about. And I never tell anyone how to live their life. I will never tell depressed person to smell the roses. In my experience, they do, but it doesn't give the same pleasure as it does for me. Their brain chemistry works differently, so things that work for me doesn't work for them. But I do want to remind people to be more in the moment. Often things that create most stress are in the future. Part of the problem is waiting until you can do something about it. Only thing that helps is to stop and look around. What kind of weather is it? What does outside look like? Is there anything beautiful out there? What about inviting a friend over for a coffee? The moment is often good. People just forget to stop for a second.
I take joy out of small pleasures. I live in the moment, so it's easy to stop and smell the roses. Or in my case, smell the lilacs. I always stop to smell them. I love eating. I love cooking food that's good and surprisingly healthy. I love exercising as well, dancing to music. I fill my days with these. I admit that being happy person, it's easy to find stuff to be happy about. And I never tell anyone how to live their life. I will never tell depressed person to smell the roses. In my experience, they do, but it doesn't give the same pleasure as it does for me. Their brain chemistry works differently, so things that work for me doesn't work for them. But I do want to remind people to be more in the moment. Often things that create most stress are in the future. Part of the problem is waiting until you can do something about it. Only thing that helps is to stop and look around. What kind of weather is it? What does outside look like? Is there anything beautiful out there? What about inviting a friend over for a coffee? The moment is often good. People just forget to stop for a second.
Tuesday, 13 January 2015
Some Observations
I've been taking bigger dose of Concerta again and boy am I feeling it! I've got opening night coming up next week and I am super nervous. I'm normally not this nervous, not even last year. It's normally this excited nerves, now it's just really anxious nerves. I am thinking Concerta and stress don't mix so well with me. I know for some (a lot?) people it helps with stress control, but apparently I'm not one of them. I don't know if this would settle, since it takes about two weeks for the body to get used to new doses and drugs, but I don't think I can take the risk. With lower dose, I don't function as well as I would with this, but this nervousness is killing me. I have to regulate my breathing everyday so I don't have a panic attack and concentrate of doing relaxing stuff like singing. Well not concentrate but do more of them and just them. And I eat more chocolate! I usually consume lots of chocolate, but with Concerta I don't crave it anymore. Well except now.
I've got to say I'm really excited about the play. It's not "normal" play, it's 7 small plays in one. Each one has different actors, directors and writers. They usually have some form of theme, like this year it's the mind. Each writer has done their own interpretation on the word and gone with it. Well, this year we had bit of an actor shortage. We had more plays and parts than usually, and we didn't have that many new people coming so one actor is in more than one role. I've got two. I'm lead in first play. Then I'm in another play as supporting role sort of. I find it bit funny that in this second role I've got more lines than in the one I'm lead role. I've got just couple of lines in that one, but I'm on stage almost every minute of it. Yesterday we had practise with all the plays and it was the first time I felt like I'm acting since starting rehearsals. We finally had some audience and it felt more real. Some might find this a bit weird, but I felt less anxious on stage. I actually felt really calm. This is what I'm supposed to do! Rehearsals have completely different energy. It's more fun in a way but there is something missing. But when you have an audience, it's home! I hope everyone will experience this once in their lives. It doesn't have to be acting, but that something which is their thing. It resonates in your soul.
I've got to say I'm really excited about the play. It's not "normal" play, it's 7 small plays in one. Each one has different actors, directors and writers. They usually have some form of theme, like this year it's the mind. Each writer has done their own interpretation on the word and gone with it. Well, this year we had bit of an actor shortage. We had more plays and parts than usually, and we didn't have that many new people coming so one actor is in more than one role. I've got two. I'm lead in first play. Then I'm in another play as supporting role sort of. I find it bit funny that in this second role I've got more lines than in the one I'm lead role. I've got just couple of lines in that one, but I'm on stage almost every minute of it. Yesterday we had practise with all the plays and it was the first time I felt like I'm acting since starting rehearsals. We finally had some audience and it felt more real. Some might find this a bit weird, but I felt less anxious on stage. I actually felt really calm. This is what I'm supposed to do! Rehearsals have completely different energy. It's more fun in a way but there is something missing. But when you have an audience, it's home! I hope everyone will experience this once in their lives. It doesn't have to be acting, but that something which is their thing. It resonates in your soul.
Monday, 5 January 2015
State of Being
There is one state of being I really hate and that's being tired and bored! Being bored with ADHD is both really easy and difficult. We can come up with lots of stuff to do really quickly but sometimes it's a killer. Like right now. Bored is better to handle when you're not tired, because you can just think of something to do. But when tired, I can't do anything. Being tired makes ADHD bit worse. I loose the little concentration ability I normally have. So that means if I start watching it, I'm going to get very distracted in about 5 minutes. I'm bored again. Being bored would be OK if I had the energy to stay focused for a while. Now I'd sort of like to go out, but my body doesn't want to move from a very comfortable position in my computer chair (yes it's possible to be in a very comfortable position in these). And my body hurts from yesterday's practise. We had some on stage fight lessons. It was lots of fun but my back really hates me right now. It's screaming for a massage.
Being tired of stimulants isn't fun either. I can't take naps with them. My body just doesn't slow down. Although I've learnt a lesson here, don't take stimulants day after a new workout routine.
This will be a short post because I can't concentrate on writing. I just want to sleep. But I can't..
Being tired of stimulants isn't fun either. I can't take naps with them. My body just doesn't slow down. Although I've learnt a lesson here, don't take stimulants day after a new workout routine.
This will be a short post because I can't concentrate on writing. I just want to sleep. But I can't..
Saturday, 20 December 2014
Side Note about my Language
I would like to remind that English isn't my native language. It's second or foreign language depending how the way it's counted. I have very high proficiency level in English and I studied English language in university but I only started learning it when I was 9. I sometimes use more English than my native Finnish and I've got lots of friends who I speak in English and some native English speakers as well. But I do get confused with idioms sometimes and correct prepositions. But to be fair I get them confused in Finnish as much as I do in English. I can never remember which idioms are in which language! Some are very similar and sometimes I translate one into the other and I get really confused because it sort of sounds right but not quite. And my pronunciation is pretty good as well! People often have hard time believing I'm Finnish because I don't have the normal signs to say so. People often expect us to sound like Kimi Räikkönen or Mika Häkkinen. Not all of us do! And I have gotten quite a few questions on how long have I been in Britain. I apparently have at least slightly British way of pronunciating words.
Me and Weird Experiences with ADHD
I had to take off a week from ADHD meds. I was feeling a bit weird. I get like this when I have an infection and I thought I had something, but my blood test came normal. I did have slight cold but not bad enough for this kind of reaction. But it was an experience! I definitely noticed the difference. Doing normal stuff took so much more time than with meds. Preparing dinner was a nightmare! I would constantly forget things, go back and forth between kitchen, computer and forgetting the timer. Forgetting to put right things in right places at the right times. I don't think I used ANY seasoning on my food! I forgot half the ingredients in the store. Using lists never helped me since I kept forgetting to do the list, take the list with me or check it. The chaos in my life and head was a lot worse. I like a bit of chaos, but now with the meds I've grown used to less of it.
Another thing: I don't count any of my health issues as bad things or curses. I know many people feel even having one of these is horrible. Especially with ADHD. So many feel that it's a curse. I don't know if it's how I was raised or my own personality, but I don't think it as a bad thing, nor a good thing. It just is. It gives and takes like anything in life. Nothing is perfect but the attitude towards everything and anything is the thing that matters the most. There are days when I curse having diabetes or hypothyroidism or ADHD, but those are just bad days and they go away on their own. Then there will be a good days! I've had diabetes so long that I don't really actively think about it anymore. Most of the processes are automatic, like counting carbs and correcting for them, taking insulin, and staying consious on how I feel. I've had it so long I can recognise signs, ok now I*ve got high or low blood sugar. And I can have some fun with it. One of the funniest things for me is BS. It's short for blood sugar. I think getting diabetes at such young age really affected how I think about health malfunctions. My body hasn't worked like most people's since I was 8. So getting different diagnoses isn't too shocking for me. I get the initial shock yes, but after that it's just, ok I've got this, lets go back to normal life! I'm glad I'm like this. It makes my life so much easier! I do worry about some normal stuff, but I rarely get hang up on them. I refuse to let myself get that way. Life is very stressfull as it is, I don't need to create more stress. So much of that stress is created by the person. I can choose to let it go on, or think and worry about it. I'm not perfect in that aspect. There are certain things that I can't get over just like that, especially things that involve other people or waiting. I'm hopeless at waiting! And I always listen to people who have problems, but my patience runs out when they come to me about the same problem several times a week expecting me to fix it, when it's their thing. I'm their friend, I offer advice and any help I can give, but fixing big issues is their responsibility. Unfortunately there are people like this..
I got bit off track again! What attention problem?
Another thing: I don't count any of my health issues as bad things or curses. I know many people feel even having one of these is horrible. Especially with ADHD. So many feel that it's a curse. I don't know if it's how I was raised or my own personality, but I don't think it as a bad thing, nor a good thing. It just is. It gives and takes like anything in life. Nothing is perfect but the attitude towards everything and anything is the thing that matters the most. There are days when I curse having diabetes or hypothyroidism or ADHD, but those are just bad days and they go away on their own. Then there will be a good days! I've had diabetes so long that I don't really actively think about it anymore. Most of the processes are automatic, like counting carbs and correcting for them, taking insulin, and staying consious on how I feel. I've had it so long I can recognise signs, ok now I*ve got high or low blood sugar. And I can have some fun with it. One of the funniest things for me is BS. It's short for blood sugar. I think getting diabetes at such young age really affected how I think about health malfunctions. My body hasn't worked like most people's since I was 8. So getting different diagnoses isn't too shocking for me. I get the initial shock yes, but after that it's just, ok I've got this, lets go back to normal life! I'm glad I'm like this. It makes my life so much easier! I do worry about some normal stuff, but I rarely get hang up on them. I refuse to let myself get that way. Life is very stressfull as it is, I don't need to create more stress. So much of that stress is created by the person. I can choose to let it go on, or think and worry about it. I'm not perfect in that aspect. There are certain things that I can't get over just like that, especially things that involve other people or waiting. I'm hopeless at waiting! And I always listen to people who have problems, but my patience runs out when they come to me about the same problem several times a week expecting me to fix it, when it's their thing. I'm their friend, I offer advice and any help I can give, but fixing big issues is their responsibility. Unfortunately there are people like this..
I got bit off track again! What attention problem?
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