More thoughts about ADHD

Now this is weird. I'm writing on a second day in a row! I've been making a small list about things I want to say. If I don't write something down in the same second I get the idea, it's lost forever. I think for me this is one of the worst symptoms of ADHD. Too fast brain. I keep forgetting important things like my insulins.

One thing I've been very worried about the meds, is how they will affect my personality. I'm impulsive, I've got a quick wit, I tend not to worry too much since I don't remember the thing I'm worried about for too long. ADHD does affect the personality somewhat. Then one night I realised while trying to fall asleep, I'll still be me. I'd like the impulsitivity to lessen quite a bit. I like being spontanious and I don't like living the same way every day. I love changes. I doubt that will change much no matter what. I'll still adapt. Maybe now I won't get so bored all the time when the every day life is so monotonious. I can't tell yet how this'll affect me. It's still too early for me. But I*m not worried about those effects anymore. I'll be me no matter what!

One of the things I've noticed while theatre practise is that I have alot of trouble to concentrate on the right things. I have to keep battling with my brain all the time. I get distracted so easily. I so wish my acting ability will get somewhat better when I can actually focuse on what I'm doing in that moment rather than everything. Usually I feel like I've got too much on my brain when I'm on stage. 

I haven't noticed much change in me now that this is day 4 on my meds. I don't want much chocolate anymore. Normally I always eat chocolate. And I always want more even though I just ate some. Now I've got at least 3 things I want to start today, lets see how many I actually start. Usually I get nowhere. Well I am here writing this so maybe some improvement is happening. I need to start looking info for one essay on Lingua Franca and start study diary at some point. And I've got to finish that damned English essay. It's giving me too much headache. I just hope I'll be able to read a book properly. Now it's more read line or two, then get sidetracked by something, a noise, thought.. I can't read if there is tv on. If there is any changing noices or lights, it keeps stealing my focuse. I don't want to read for fun since it's so difficult. I want to read but I hate it as well. I very rarely get hyperfocused. Well I can't really remember that happening since high school. Then I could just sit and read Harry Potter book without noticing anything around me. My mom would have to come and nudge me to get my attention. I wish that would happen with my course books but no luck so far...