ADHD and Sleeping

I haven't written for a while. My muse hasn't given me any ideas until today. I had hard time falling asleep and even harder waking up. It's normal when I'm not taking my stimulants. I toss and turn during the night, because my brain won't shut off. It just wants to keep thinking stuff. Even though I'm tired, I just won't be able to fall asleep. And it doesn't help, that ADHD brain generally tends to work best during the evening and night. A lot of ADHD people tend to be night owls. The brain picks up speed during the day. Excercise helps. So nights can be hard. I put my mind into a calm place for me, and keep it there, but it's still very difficult to fall asleep. It's a bit easier if I've gone to the gym or otherwise I've exhausted myself physically. Also I don't sleep as deeply as with stimulants.

And the other thing, waking up. Remember me saying about the brain picking up speed couple of sentence ago? Yeah, it doesn't help the mornings! When I'm on stimulants, I can wake up pretty alert. Without them, I keep pressing snooze button as long as I can. I'm just too tired. Amount of sleep doesn't matter one bit. It's as difficult after 6 or 9 hours of sleep. It gets a bit easier after coffee or other caffenated drink. Without them, mornings can be almost impossible. I have a rule, that my mom is not allowed to talk to me before some form of stimulant, coffee or medication. Normally people understand to give me space before badgering me. My mom doesn't. That's why I've given her the rule not to talk to me in person or on phone before I've had my breakfast and I give the ok. I'm extrovert and happy and patient person normally, except when I'm not on my stimulants and before coffee. I need to wake up first properly! After my coffee, I'm myself again.

And off the topic information: I need to take breaks from stimulants every once in a while. I had a talk with my doctor and stimulants can raise cortisol-levels in some people. Me having so many other health issues, it's doing that with me. I have to take couple days off every month and two breaks a year, where I don't take them for week or more. Symptoms for me are: difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep and anxiety.

side-effects

Ok lets try again!! I can't work the blogger with too much grace since I don't know how to undo the weird colour behind the text

So side-effects of Concerta. It doesn't work well with anxiety. I had to stop taking it for two days before the opening night of the play, since I was too nervous. Then started it again with hope I wouldn't get the starting side-effects. Which are panic attacks. They come out of nowhere and go away about as quickly as they come. I just had three panic attacks in one hour and then just stopped. Although green tea might have had something to do with it. I don't want caffeine with the drug since they have similar effects on the body. I was just standing in the queu for cashier's and it just started. I wasn't doing anything to trigger it and I was just listening to music on my mp3 player. ADHD kicking in again, I wrote mp5 player.. I wonder what that would be, you can't really play mp5... Anyway back to where I was. I knew what it was so I just waited for my turn and kept coughing. I don't know why but it's what I always do when I get panic attack. By the time I got all my stuff in my bag it was all over! well the first one was over.. When I got back home, I got two more. Then nothing. I feel a bit tired after all those but mentally ok. I know what causes them so they aren't that scary. It's a bit scary when they come out of nowhere. But knowing what they are helps! and remembering to breath and not get more anxious!
 Tomorrow will be complitely different thank goodness!! Only worry tomorrow is that I remember all my lines and don't lose my voice overnight. I can barely talk after yesterday. I have to yell in the play and with a cold... Good thing is that Concerta really helping with acting. I can focus more on being on the stage. It's easier to remember lines, where to be, how I am related to audience, what I'm doing, what to feel. On a normal day, it's really exhausting for me. Too much going on. And with all that trying to keep focused on the right things and not get distracted by others. AND we're doing comedy so the stuff other's do is HILARIOUS!! I have to keep poker face through the whole thing and it's so much easier with this!! I'm not saying it's a miracle worker but for right people it makes life more.. I don't want to say easier but more  manageable maybe? Life isn't easy but it doesn't need to be too difficult. If there are things to make it more manageable, I'm all for it!!