side-effects

Ok lets try again!! I can't work the blogger with too much grace since I don't know how to undo the weird colour behind the text

So side-effects of Concerta. It doesn't work well with anxiety. I had to stop taking it for two days before the opening night of the play, since I was too nervous. Then started it again with hope I wouldn't get the starting side-effects. Which are panic attacks. They come out of nowhere and go away about as quickly as they come. I just had three panic attacks in one hour and then just stopped. Although green tea might have had something to do with it. I don't want caffeine with the drug since they have similar effects on the body. I was just standing in the queu for cashier's and it just started. I wasn't doing anything to trigger it and I was just listening to music on my mp3 player. ADHD kicking in again, I wrote mp5 player.. I wonder what that would be, you can't really play mp5... Anyway back to where I was. I knew what it was so I just waited for my turn and kept coughing. I don't know why but it's what I always do when I get panic attack. By the time I got all my stuff in my bag it was all over! well the first one was over.. When I got back home, I got two more. Then nothing. I feel a bit tired after all those but mentally ok. I know what causes them so they aren't that scary. It's a bit scary when they come out of nowhere. But knowing what they are helps! and remembering to breath and not get more anxious!
 Tomorrow will be complitely different thank goodness!! Only worry tomorrow is that I remember all my lines and don't lose my voice overnight. I can barely talk after yesterday. I have to yell in the play and with a cold... Good thing is that Concerta really helping with acting. I can focus more on being on the stage. It's easier to remember lines, where to be, how I am related to audience, what I'm doing, what to feel. On a normal day, it's really exhausting for me. Too much going on. And with all that trying to keep focused on the right things and not get distracted by others. AND we're doing comedy so the stuff other's do is HILARIOUS!! I have to keep poker face through the whole thing and it's so much easier with this!! I'm not saying it's a miracle worker but for right people it makes life more.. I don't want to say easier but more  manageable maybe? Life isn't easy but it doesn't need to be too difficult. If there are things to make it more manageable, I'm all for it!!