I haven't written for a while. My muse hasn't given me any ideas until today. I had hard time falling asleep and even harder waking up. It's normal when I'm not taking my stimulants. I toss and turn during the night, because my brain won't shut off. It just wants to keep thinking stuff. Even though I'm tired, I just won't be able to fall asleep. And it doesn't help, that ADHD brain generally tends to work best during the evening and night. A lot of ADHD people tend to be night owls. The brain picks up speed during the day. Excercise helps. So nights can be hard. I put my mind into a calm place for me, and keep it there, but it's still very difficult to fall asleep. It's a bit easier if I've gone to the gym or otherwise I've exhausted myself physically. Also I don't sleep as deeply as with stimulants.
And the other thing, waking up. Remember me saying about the brain picking up speed couple of sentence ago? Yeah, it doesn't help the mornings! When I'm on stimulants, I can wake up pretty alert. Without them, I keep pressing snooze button as long as I can. I'm just too tired. Amount of sleep doesn't matter one bit. It's as difficult after 6 or 9 hours of sleep. It gets a bit easier after coffee or other caffenated drink. Without them, mornings can be almost impossible. I have a rule, that my mom is not allowed to talk to me before some form of stimulant, coffee or medication. Normally people understand to give me space before badgering me. My mom doesn't. That's why I've given her the rule not to talk to me in person or on phone before I've had my breakfast and I give the ok. I'm extrovert and happy and patient person normally, except when I'm not on my stimulants and before coffee. I need to wake up first properly! After my coffee, I'm myself again.
And off the topic information: I need to take breaks from stimulants every once in a while. I had a talk with my doctor and stimulants can raise cortisol-levels in some people. Me having so many other health issues, it's doing that with me. I have to take couple days off every month and two breaks a year, where I don't take them for week or more. Symptoms for me are: difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep and anxiety.
Monday, 6 June 2016
Tuesday, 22 March 2016
Time
Wow, I've been away for a while and I've gotten over 160 views in the meantime! My muse has been hiding from me and I haven't thought of anything special to say. Now I have something!
Time. People with ADHD often experience time differently than neurologically normal people. Sometimes we start to do something. Like on last Saturday, I started to sew a skirt! I started at three by cutting the cloth. I start sewing with my machine and next thing I know, it's 7pm and I'm starving. Where did all the time go? This is called hyperfocusing. Time ceases to exist. There is nothing but what we're focusing. Even our bodies own signals aren't enough to "wake us up." I was starving when I was finishing. I didn't notice anything until I was done. Hyperfocusing is one classic sign of ADHD. It's one of the few times, when we don't suffer from lack of attention. Or which I prefer to call, attention to the whole world. The world and everything in it doesn't exist to us.
I've also noticed that time runs differently depending if I'm on ADHD meds or nor. Before them, time ran quickly. One hour was like one minute. Time would disappear into the chaos of my mind. I might be late for anything because I lost track of time. It would be everyday for me. Time just disappeared. I guess when the brain is full of everything, rambling thoughts, sounds, images, it's hard to keep track of time.
Now, that I'm on stimulants, time has slowed down. I get more things done. Sometimes when I'm cleaning and I've done the living room, part of the kitchen and bathroom, I come to take a short rest, I notice, I've only cleaned for one hour. I have more time. It's like I'm in a time machine. This comes with a down side as well. There is too much time. If I'm upset or tired, waiting two hours until I can go to sleep, feels like forever. And then people tell me it gets better. I hate that saying. When does it get better? How many eternities do I have to wait? One day is like a week for me, so waiting few years? Yeah, that's not good.. Even waiting to the next day is really long time. Getting bored can be really easy being like this. However it has a good side too. It's very easy living in the moment. The moment is generally good. Right now, spring is starting, snow is melting, it's getting warmer and I get to wear skirts soon! Hopefully the one I just made. People are more open and happy with the sun coming out. I get to notice all these things!
Time. People with ADHD often experience time differently than neurologically normal people. Sometimes we start to do something. Like on last Saturday, I started to sew a skirt! I started at three by cutting the cloth. I start sewing with my machine and next thing I know, it's 7pm and I'm starving. Where did all the time go? This is called hyperfocusing. Time ceases to exist. There is nothing but what we're focusing. Even our bodies own signals aren't enough to "wake us up." I was starving when I was finishing. I didn't notice anything until I was done. Hyperfocusing is one classic sign of ADHD. It's one of the few times, when we don't suffer from lack of attention. Or which I prefer to call, attention to the whole world. The world and everything in it doesn't exist to us.
I've also noticed that time runs differently depending if I'm on ADHD meds or nor. Before them, time ran quickly. One hour was like one minute. Time would disappear into the chaos of my mind. I might be late for anything because I lost track of time. It would be everyday for me. Time just disappeared. I guess when the brain is full of everything, rambling thoughts, sounds, images, it's hard to keep track of time.
Now, that I'm on stimulants, time has slowed down. I get more things done. Sometimes when I'm cleaning and I've done the living room, part of the kitchen and bathroom, I come to take a short rest, I notice, I've only cleaned for one hour. I have more time. It's like I'm in a time machine. This comes with a down side as well. There is too much time. If I'm upset or tired, waiting two hours until I can go to sleep, feels like forever. And then people tell me it gets better. I hate that saying. When does it get better? How many eternities do I have to wait? One day is like a week for me, so waiting few years? Yeah, that's not good.. Even waiting to the next day is really long time. Getting bored can be really easy being like this. However it has a good side too. It's very easy living in the moment. The moment is generally good. Right now, spring is starting, snow is melting, it's getting warmer and I get to wear skirts soon! Hopefully the one I just made. People are more open and happy with the sun coming out. I get to notice all these things!
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